Doubts..

Posted on 02/25/2014 @ 6:23pm by Captain Oseno Jureth

Oseno Jureth walked the floor of his quarters aboard the Horizon as the might starship was making her return to Federation space and Starbase Lotus. It was the middle of the night, and he should be sleep before his next shift, but sleep was not something that came easily to the Bajoran since his return from the Nemesis.

"Computer, record personal log."

"Ready,"

"Personal Log, Oseno Jureth, stardate 87656.2. I find myself in the midst of another sleepless night. While my crew mates and I were successful in completing the task thrust upon us I cannot measure my own success so easily. The reincarnation of Khan Noonien Singh was the most sadistic enemy I have faced to date as a member of Starfleet, even more so than the Klingons or Romulans. He tortured my people, my friends, forced me to either give up the command codes to my ship or watch them suffer and die. In the end I feel I failed both as their commanding officer, their friend, and as the commanding officer of the Polaris. T'Lana and the others will recover, but if I had acted differently they might not have suffered at all. I didn't though, I was the same stubborn, arrogant man that brawled with a Cardassian in a Risian bar. When I had my scar removed after Operation Horizon I'd believed that I'd changed, evolved both as a person and as an officer, but have I really? I played right into Khan's hands and others felt pain because of it, and to top it off I surrendered my ship to that mad man, and because I did he nearly escaped. Can I really continue to serve Starfleet? Can I face my crew mates and friends? What about Cat, what would she say about what I've done? So many questions...and not enough answers, I wonder I will ever find them..."

Oseno sank onto the bed, he needed to try and get some sleep before his shift.

"Computer, end log."